Focus

During the course of the week, I started to notice KK holding her head cock-eyed (almost like she was trying to just use her left eye) and squinting her right eye when she looked to the right (something she did often when she was having double vision). I kept asking KK if her eye was okay.

On Wednesday, she confirmed that she was seeing double when she looked to the right. My mind instantly went to Monday when I believe KK experienced some apoptosis after her treatment. I had been wondering if she was trying to focus and re-adjust to seeing again. At the same time, the PTSD was whispering, "Double vision means tumor growth." I had to remind myself that she had been unable to see at all when she looked to the right unless she turned her head and looked straight on.

As we were driving to her colonic yesterday, KK said, "I don't see double!" Since then, her vision when she looks to the right has vacillated between seeing double and not...but seeing nonetheless. We are praising God for allowing us to see this progress!

We can't wait to see the results of the MRI in 12 days (not that I'm counting).

I Should Know Better

Last week when I made the decision to begin IV Vitamin C at The Rothfeld Center in Waltham, I knew it was the right decision. Things moved pretty quickly. When I spoke with the new patient coordinator on Tuesday, I was surprised that they were able to schedule our appointment with the nurse practitioner for Thursday morning. Since KK only had one dose of Vitamin C that week, I wanted to make sure they would be able to administer the Vitamin C that week as well. Thankfully, they were able to schedule treatment for Thursday afternoon and Friday morning.

At that point, I felt comfortable calling The Sante Center to let them know we wouldn't be returning. When I told KK that we would no longer be going to The Sante Center, she sobbed...we're talking gut-wrenching sobbed. I immediately felt horrible. It didn't even dawn on me that she would be so upset, but I should know better. The girl has had way too many times in her life when she wasn't able to say goodbye to people. We agreed that we would go back to visit when Charlie is gone (and we have a little more time). Just another reason for her to get better. 

Decisions Confirmed

God continues to answer prayer for the decisions that I needed to make!

KK did very well with the new type of colonic today. The woman that owns this place is so sweet and kind. She offered some ideas that could help us save money. She is greatly discounting the colonics and is willing to adjust her schedule to help us make this work for our crazy schedule.

KK and I were in awe once again of how good God is!

Decision Made

Thank you to everyone that prayed for the urgent decisions that I needed to make last week.

After much prayer and many calls, we have found a new place that is willing to administer IV Vitamin C on a minor in Waltham. KK begins treatment there on Thursday. In theory, it is 25-30 minutes closer...but it will all depend on the timing of her appointments and traffic on the Pike.

The only drawback was that this place doesn't offer colonics, so we are looking into other places for this important aspect of her treatment. We have an appointment on Wednesday at a place in Worcester that our massage therapist, Mieka, recommended.

Because Gray Matters

So, I'm not a big fan of ribbons that support awareness of different causes...there are just too many these days. However, I love how clever the Brain Cancer Awareness campaign is:

My Heart is Full

What a wonderful Mother's Day!

I spent a lot of time remembering how poorly KK was doing on Mother's Day last year. When she walked into church with her walker, some people were taken aback by how bad she looked. I recall how there was no filter, no patience, and no quiet voice. During the sermon at church, she just wanted to lay down and made it known. By the end of our lunch with my parents, she just wanted to get home and was pushy about getting the check. That night, she started vomiting again. It turned out that there was fluid building up in her left temporal horn and she would need another surgery just two days later.

Today, KK walked into church with pep in her step. When Pastor Derek said, "Happy Mother's Day", KK responded, "Aww! I forgot again!" She came over, gave me a hug, and said, "Happy Mother's Day!" I told her it definitely is a happy day for this mother. During first service, she decided to help in the toddler nursery. I checked in on her and saw her playing happily with the twins, Stephanie and Steven. During second service, she had a bit of a headache and laid down on the couch in the foyer. We left church as soon as second service was over and went home so she could take an Epsom salt bath to detox before we went to lunch with my parents. Thankfully, her headache went away and we were able to have a wonderful lunch with Nannie and Grampy.

To top it all off, we celebrated 13 months post-diagnosis today!

My heart is full!

Tell Them About Me

Out of the blue this evening, KK said, "If I die and you adopt more kids, make sure you tell them about me, their big sister."

I asked, "So, you think I should adopt again?"

She said yes.

I reminded her that she needs to get better so we could adopt Tyler.

We had a whole conversation about how she would want a brother, where he would sleep, how we would need to get him a smaller bed, make the three season porch into a playroom, and put a gate at the top of the stairs. She said she doesn't think she would want a sister because "you know how girls can be territorial". However, she would reconsider the whole sister thing if her youngest, biological sister was adoptable.

Decisions

Without going into details that aren't appropriate for this forum, I would appreciate if you would pray for some urgent decisions that I need to make. Pray that God will guide every step of the way. If you would like to pray for the specifics, I don't mind sharing them through email...just ask.

God Provides

As I finished the paperwork for the grant I am applying for two weeks ago, I was completely amazed at how God provides. I figured out long ago that KK's treatment costs more than my take home pay each week (for a period of time, it was more than 150% of my take home pay). When you factor in rent, tutoring, utilities, groceries, gas, and other expenses, I should be drowning in debt. However, the only debt I have right now is a debt of gratitude to a God who provides and to the people He has used to help us during this time.

And my God will meet all your needs 

according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

~ Philippians 4:19

I am convinced that the God who provides for all of our financial needs will provide for all of KK's physical needs as well.

Pinky Swear

We received a gift card from the Pinky Swear Foundation today to help with gas and groceries. The story behind this organization is bittersweet. Check it out at www.PinkySwear.org.

Kicking Butt

It has been 3 weeks since we made the changes in KK's protocol (as mentioned here). I can definitely tell that the IV Vitamin C is working more effectively now that we are not giving Glutathione on the same day. It is kicking KK's butt! She tends to "hit a wall" about 3/4 of the way through treatment and has had a few headaches.

It is such a fine line between giving her a therapeutic dose and overwhelming her system causing too much swelling too fast. We want this to kick Charlie's butt more than KK's. Please continue to pray for apoptosis...specifically, that just the right number of cancer cells pop before more begin to swell.