Cathartic

Cathartic, in its fullest definition, is a good word to describe last night.

ca·thar·tic

/kəˈTHärdik/ 

   adjective

      1. providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong 
          emotions; causing catharsis.
      2. (chiefly of a drug) purgative.

   noun

      1. a purgative drug.

KK took the first of five doses of the Temozolomide before she went to bed last night. She woke up at 11:35pm and started throwing up. She continued to do so for about an hour and a half. I tried giving her Zofran, but she threw that up almost immediately. As I sat on the floor by her bed, KK asked me to put on the "Charlie" playlist. We listened to the lyrics of the songs as we cried and cried out to God. KK expressed how she hates feeling so yucky, questioned why she had to get cancer and why chemo had to make her feel so awful, reiterated her trust in God as she listened to one song, and changed the lyrics to another song (Fighter, by Jamie Grace) to personalize it:

          She's been here before
          And she's only {thirteen} years old
          But she knows the name of every nurse she sees
          And though she don't like the chemo
          She waits it out never losin' hope that
          Someday soon she'll be cancer-free

Finally, it seemed like she might be able to hold something down. I gave her another dose of Zofran, we turned on a movie and waited. After 30 minutes, I asked KK how she was feeling. She said her tummy felt a little off, but she didn't feel like throwing up. She and I praised God for giving her some relief. After another 30 minutes, she felt fine.

This morning, I asked KK how she was feeling. She cheerfully said, "I'm good. I guess when I have chemo, I just have to throw up at night sometimes. In a weird way, it felt good to get it out of my stomach."

So, yes, cathartic is a good word for last night.